Friends, Old and New

Posted on 2nd May, 2015

 

 

Since we moved to Llandudno, two years ago this month, I have been asked on various occasions, 'Do you miss your old home?' The truthful answer is – no, I don't, by which I mean I don't miss the place itself. Is this because living in Llandudno is a dream I grew up with? Possibly. Although I enjoyed living where we used to live, it wasn't where I grew up and it wasn't where I had always dreamed of living; so, no, I don't miss the place.

What I do miss is the people. We moved a long way – from the south-east of England to the north-west of Wales – and we left a lot of people behind. My husband's family. Friends, colleagues, neighbours, including the best next-door neighbours ever in the history of the world. Honestly, if I have lured the couple next-door into the Pickfords van and brought them with us to live next-door here, I would have.

For me, that was the hard bit about moving. Of course, thanks to the wonders of the internet, it is possible these days to stay in touch to a degree undreamed of not so many years ago; but while maintaining those long-distance relationships is important, it's not the same as having someone on the doorstep.

Which brings me to a confession. I'm not the world's most sociable person – I'm not someone who dashes about collecting friends wherever they go. A friend of mine made my jaw drop a couple of years back when she was planning her wedding and said it would be a small affair - “Just 200 of our closest friends.” 200?! Closest friends?!

I'm not like that at all. Although I am friendly with quite a few people, I have few serious, close friends, but those I do have very dear and important to me. When we moved, the one small question mark in my mind – possibly the question in everyone's mind as they move house – was the thought of having to find new friends.

And of course it has happened, and in a way that is typical of my experience – namely, I am friendly with a number of people, but I have made one new close friend. It is a friendship I specially appreciate because the thing about having few true friends is that you can't rely on ever finding another one. So this friendship has a “cherry on the cake” feel about it.

 

Are you a sociable person? Do you find it easy to make friends? Are you good at keeping in touch with old friends? Do share your thoughts.

 

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Comments (7)

Hello, Linda and Jen. Thanks to both of you for dropping by and leaving your thoughts. Keeping in touch and maintaining friendships not simply when moving from one part of the country to another, but actually to a new country, is something you two have in common. I think that true friends keep that friendship alive regardless of the distance involved.

And Jen, you are absolutely right - social media has opened new opportunities for friendship. Not so long ago, I wouldn't have believed you could form a genuine friendship through the internet, but you can - you and I are proof of it.
On 4th May, 2015 by Susanna Bavin
What a lovely, heartfelt post, Susanna. Although I can extrovert when I have to, I'm an introvert at heart. Thus, although sociable with many, those I count as true friends are a very small circle. They are the friends I keep in touch with across time and distance, and who I know will be there for me when I need them.

It's wonderful to have the opportunity to make new friendships too and, as other commentators have said, social media helps with that. It's certainly helped me make friends with you, and the bond we're developing is one I cherish. xx
On 4th May, 2015 by Jen Gilroy (website: http://www.jengilroy.com)
When I moved to Switzerland, over 20 years ago now, I left a little group of five or six close friends. Today, we are equally close, and I have added a couple more close Swiss friends. And although I've moved house twice in the past year and a half, I haven't moved town. I know exactly what you mean, Susanna. Maybe most writers are introverts at heart.
On 4th May, 2015 by Linda Huber (website: http://www.lindahuber.net)
I agree with you, Frances. For some people, a friend means just someone that they know whereas to others friendship requires a depth of relationship. And, yes - I too am an introvert who has grown to appreciate social media. Thanks for your comments, Frances.
On 3rd May, 2015 by Susanna Bavin
Thanks for such a thoughtful post. I think social media is great for introverts (yes, I'm one) who quickly tire of large groups or too much chat, no matter how much we like the individuals in the group. I also sometimes wonder about the definition of a friend. To some, people at yoga are friends, while for others, friendship depends on much closer relationships!
On 3rd May, 2015 by Frances Evesham (website: http://Fevesham@btinternet.com)
Having a large circle of friends seems to be one of the messages that society gives, but of course it all depends on the individual. I have never felt comfortable in big groups and used to feel that I was the odd one out because of it - then a friend confided that she felt the same. I'm glad that you have come to accept yourself the way you are. Thank you for reading my blog and leaving a comment.
On 2nd May, 2015 by Susanna Bavin
I'm the same, and its something I've struggled to come to terms with. I'm very introverted so I've never been able to cope with groups of friends. I have one person I would class as a very close friend and a couple of others who I would class as good friends, and on the whole I'm happy with that. It took a while to get to this stage though - I used to worry there was something 'wrong' with me because I didn't have a lot of friends, but then I came to accept that this is something I do out of choice and on the whole I am happy with this.
On 2nd May, 2015 by lonestarsky (website: http://www.fictionburns.co.uk)