This week I am delighted to welcome back Kirsten, with her end-of-the-month round-up of her writing life for May. * * * * Were A levels this big a deal when we were young? Regular readers of this column - doesn’t that sound grand?! - will know my lovely son has been having some issues so the fact he is even sitting his As is at once absolutely brilliant and fraught with challenges. But … all this study leave (did we even have study leave?!), driving them into school, knowing when to encourage, when to back off … Roll on June 23rd!! But this is a writing column and two writing-related things have been on my mind this month. The extent to which I compartmentalise my writing life and my attitude towards rejection. This year I entered the Bath Novel Award for the first time. I knew there would be over a thousand entries and that I was very unlikely to be one of the thirty or so long-listed. Sure, a girl can dream, but I thought I had my hopes and expectations well under control … The long-list was announced by email at noon a couple of Thursdays ago. That day I was meeting extended family for lunch at a restaurant 50 miles or so from home. I hadn’t seen some of them for a year or so. None of them knew I had entered the competition. I’d intended to arrive early and peruse the email at my leisure in the car park but, due to the vagaries of the M25, I was half an hour late and everyone was waiting to order. It wasn’t until a break between courses that I had a chance to escape to the corridor and check my emails. Heart pounding, I scanned the alphabetical list of long-listed titles (the competition is judged ‘blind’ so no names at this stage) and … mine wasn’t there. So I turned my phone off, went back to the table and continued the conversation I had been having with my lovely cousin. About A levels as it happens … What’s the betting I’d have gone back to the restaurant squealing with excitement if I’d made the cut …? For me, the disappointment kicked in on the journey home and I had twenty- four hours of being convinced everything I write is a complete pile of poo and that I am generally wasting my time. Moreover, how embarrassing. I thought I was a good enough writer to enter the competition in the first place, the judges must have been having a jolly good laugh at my expense and maybe I should delete everything I have ever written and take up crochet instead … … Only I’d probably be crap at that too. A day later, equilibrium restored, I was back to ‘how can I make my writing better?’ and ‘how long until I can enter the competition again? Onwards and upwards!! I hope you all have a brilliant June. xx PS Many congratulations to all who made the long-list – especially to the writer who made it twice! Very best of luck to you all xx |
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Competitions are subjective...what one judge loves, another one may loathe...and in that sense, writing competitions mirror the real world of readers (see Goodreads reviews--some of mine included--if you need any illustration of that point).
The other thing you mention is how you compartmentalise your writing life...been there and done that, too. If it's any help, what I've learned is that you can't expect everyone in your life to be supportive and understanding (and again that is before AND after publication). You need to find your 'tribe' and, in particular, share the disappointments only with those whom you know will understand and support you.
No matter where we're at in our individual careers, we're all trying to make our writing better (says she who just deleted 1500 words from her WIP today) and have our dark days of rejection and doubt. Glad you've dusted yourself and are staying strong. Please know I'm cheering you on!
All good wishes to your son too for his A levels. xx